Abusive Relationship Prevention

As Miss Northern Utah County 2012, I have taken it upon myself to spread the word about the dangers of abusive relationships throughout my community and beyond. I am devoted to my platform with a strong desire to help others suffering in abusive relationships to escape and to heal from them. According to an online dictionary, an abusive relationship is literally defined as "a state of affairs between to people characterized by wrong or improper action, either physical or verbal." In other words, an abusive relationship is possible in many different kinds of relationships. Though I try to cover the entire broad range of relationships, my main focus lies within teenage and college-age dating.

This abuse may fall in the form of physical abuse or verbal abuse, or both. It occurs when one person establishes extreme control or power of another person in a relationship through fear and intimidation. Being in an abusive relationship can be frightening, frustrating, humiliating, and at times, feel hopeless, trapped, and lonely. To be the victim of an abuser can tatter your self-esteem, and inevitably turn you into a whole different person from the inside. In most cases of an abusive relationship, the abused loves the abuser, distorting judgment and digging their hole deeper.

Are you in an abusive relationship?

If you are in an abusive relationship, I am here, along with many other people, to let you know that there is a way out. You do not have to go through this alone. You do not have to live like this any more if you choose not to. For many resources of help and encouragement, visit Love Is Respect. You may also feel free to contact me at chelsi.lukens@gmail.com. In a more extreme case, if your life is in danger, call 911. Your safety is the most important factor.

Are you trying to get over a past relationship that was abusive?
Though it may be a route you do not want to take, counseling helps leaps and bounds. One of the hardest things about getting over an abusive relationship is being able to talk about it. Once you are able to get the words out, the healing process can begin. Counseling is a great way to take a big step forward, and you can find great help and identify your own needed methods of healing with the help of a professional. You can also talk to a trusted friend or a family member about it. 

Know someone who may be in an abusive relationship?

If you have a friend who is or may be in an abusive relationship, the best way to help them is to approach your friend about it. Even if it seems invasive, just one person saying something can be a little push of encouragement that your friend needs to come out of denial, or to take back control of his or her life. Keep in mind that approaching somebody about an abusive relationship is much like approaching a friend about a drug problem: They may be upset that you brought it up if they are in denial or feel like they are trapped in the habit. But the fact that you said something means you care about their safety and happiness more than the way they see you, and eventually, they will understand and even appreciate your eagerness to help. You may be the last push they need to get out, or the first push they need to realize the reality of their situation.